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WHAT IS FRIENDSHIP? The defining characteristic of friendship is a preference for a particular person. However, different people may have distinct definitions of and requirements for friendship. For example, very young children may refer to someone as their “best friend” two minutes after meeting, while very shy people or individuals from reserved cultures may report having only a handful of friends during their entire lives. There’s no absolute definition of what does or does not constitute a friendship. However, some common traits of friendship include: 1. Some degree of commitment, both to the friendship and to the other person’s well-being. 2. A desire for “regular” contact with the other person. “Regular” contact could occur once every two days or once every two years. 3. Mutual trust, concern, and compassion. 4. Shared interests, opinions, beliefs, or hobbies. 5. Shared knowledge about one another’s lives, emotions, fears, or interests. 6. Feelings of love, respect, admiration, or appreciation.
FRIENDSHIP ACROSS A LIFESPAN Lifelong friendships can be immensely rewarding. People may draw inspiration from talking to those who knew them when they were young. Lifelong friends connect people to their history, offer insight on how a person has changed and evolved, and are often deeply connected to one another’s families. These friendships offer a sense of permanency and consistency that can be deeply reassuring at times of ambivalence, loss, or anxiety.
