Valerie - Amy Winehouse Acoustic Karaoke https://youtu.be/4nkRlEPJY1w (Last lyrics are mine... if you couldn't tell....)
Hi guys I missed you guys so much!! Like... actually... because making this video gave me so much life. (:
🤍🎈I am now back in school for spring semester at LPU (Life pacific University) In California. It has been pretty hectic getting used to my new schedule and especially now that it's super loaded. Homework, working out, my barista job, the musical, reading the million of books they have for us, getting good sleep, drinking and eating the right foods that my naturopathic dr. recommended to me. Just trying to find balance with putting work over the things I enjoy. Cuz hard work pays off right? Bc as much as I'd like to sit here all day and make videos and do creative things I need my degree to enjoy my hobbies later on.
🤍🎈If I am being honest my mind has not been in the best place. Depression or just negative thoughts have been taking it over when it is quiet. BUT.. I am actively trying to fill my head with good things like with a gratitude journal and positive affirmations and even this channel. Taking care of my bodies needs first so I know that it must be my mental state for feeling a bit unahappy. Yes I still smile, enjoy interactions with people and JOKE around ALOT. My head likes to betray me and tell me the worst possible things that I don't know if I can say it on here. I am okay and very grateful with life I guess I can't understand how my brain found a way to make me feel this way when I already have so much support in every area.
🤍🎈I remember in high school they told us that depression and being brought to su*ic*de was a disease. I literally argued with them and laughed. I guess it is true that certain Imbalances in your brain can cause you to feel a certain way. From everything I have read you just try as much as possible to not let those thoughts control you even though it is hard. Wake up everyday ready to face whatever is in store for you because yes it could always be worse. (not that your own feelings aren't valid and important because you have every right to be upset about your personal situations) But you do not want to go through life letting a mental diagnosis tell you how to live the life you have been created to live out.
🤍🎈Yes, maybe very controversial to say but by letting those emotions control every being of me has caused me to go throughout life with many regrets of what I did not do in those times. What I limited myself to because of my sadness and depression. Easier said than done obviously. While you can have the diagnosis, do not hold on to as a label but use it and try to work with it. There is no excuse to constantly be a shitty person to the people around you, no excuse to not get up and fight for the life you want, no excuse to waste away your own precious life because of the deep feelings that are telling you to stop. You will always be important and your emotions matter as well but you are in control if you want to get better. So reach out for help and reach out to the things that are going to help you grow not dig you deeper in the grave your brain may have put you in.
🤍🎈I heard in this video your body does not understand language so if you constantly teach it or get it used to a certain lifestyle when you go outside of it, it goes into flight or fight mode. Like if you put yourself in a social setting after a very long time your body initiates social anxiety because it is trying to protect you. That "exposure therapy", meaning constantly exposing yourself to the thing you are so deathly afraid of will get you so used to it that it is the new normal. So do what you are afraid to do. Put yourself out there. Being able to make the mistakes and live through the risk will teach you how big and whole life can really be. No one is stopping you but your own mind and effort to do what might be possible.
🤍🎈I know I sound so much like an inspirational speaker and I hate that this might have the opposite effect. But really when I type these out I tend to talk to myself. Because I even have trouble believing this and not wanting to go to sleep in a coma forever... bruhh.... But keeping busy while taking care of my body mind and spirit will only make it better not worse. Also if I look back at how I pushed it even though I did not feel like it I know I would never regret it.
🤍🎈So verse of the year that I was taught is Romans 5:3 "We rejoice in our sufferings knowing that sufferings produce endurance." Very harsh huh but I am going to try and live by that and see where it takes me. So I love you all my 26 followers *kisses* and love xoxo. If you are going through the same thing feel free to talk to me.
